Superstars Burki, Evans and Backley will all be staying at the club!
Reports suggested contract talks breakdown.
The real reason for unrest has now been revealed: Tea lady, Rose Szarowicz, was putting them off their game!
An agreement has been reached that Szarowicz must stops wearing low cut tops.
Szarowicz said ‘personally i think it’s cuz there’s no FC matches nx yr. It’s highly unfair i have to cover myself up, if they don’t wanna look they shouldn’t look! that Burki is a right little perv!